One of my favourite Zen proverbs is:
LET GO OR BE DRAGGED
I see it everyday in my coaching room. Clients who are stuck, scared, not wanting to stay where they are but not willing to let go of everything in order to move forward. A no-man's land of emotional paralysis. Like an old blanket, the issues and problems are known and understood to the point that they've almost become comfortable. They've been around so long that they're become part of the day to day behaviour and way of life. These repetative problems occur so frequently and become so overwhelming that they eventually take control, dragging you through your life, leaving you feeling powerless to do anything about it. But you hold on because the fear of letting go and falling down the side of the cliff is too great.
At some stage though, everyone realises that they cannot continue unless something changes, something breaks, something ends. They know this intellectually, they know they need to do something but the fear of the unknown keeps them immobile.
It's not the problems in your life that are causing your pain, it's your inability to let go.
Growth can only happen after a death of sorts. A letting go of who you used to be in order to become someone far more alive, powerful, responsible, realised. A release of an old idea or belief or habit in order to create the clean space for something new, affirming and strong to take its place. Saying goodbye to friendships, relationships, family that no longer add value or a workability to your life.
2 simple words that are the secret to personal growth. Releasing, surrendering and breathing out. All actions that will lead to something far more than you ever could have imagined.
It's my wish for everyone I work with. Let go of all of the points of view and judgements you have about yourself and those around you. Let go of all those ideas you have of what is right and what is wrong. Let go of the way you think things should be and see them for what they really are. Let go of the illusions and stories you tell yourself and others. Let go of the act that is keeping the true, glorious being that you are from the world. This beautiful poem illustrates this perfectly:
She Let Go
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of fear. She let go of the judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely,
without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a
book on how to let go… She didn’t search the scriptures.
She just let go.
She let go of all of the memories that held her back.
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go.
She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her day-timer.
She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.
She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn’t analyse whether she should let go.
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.
She didn’t call the prayer line.
She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.
No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle.
It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.
What do you need to let go of in your life?