Don’t dump all of your unresolved issues from previous relationships onto this one and expect your partner to put up with it.
Don’t swallow your truth, no matter how afraid you are of your partner’s reaction.
Don’t assume anything. Ever!
Don’t belittle your partner just to make yourself feel justified or more important.
Don’t feel that you have to try and fix your partner’s life for them, let them be accountable for their own choices.
Don’t do everything together. Spend time apart and live your own lives. Space is healthy and necessary to grow.
Don’t seek to win at your partner’s expense.
Don’t stop exploring and trying new things in the bedroom, keep the fire alive.
Don’t over-react or walk away or freak out every time your partner tries to tell you something that you don’t want to hear. After a while, they’ll stop talking. Then they’ll stop listening. Then they’ll stop caring. Then they’ll leave.
Don’t break your promises. Ever.
Don’t inflict your family on your partner. If they don’t get along, so what? Stop forcing the issue.
Don’t think you are always right. You’re not.
Don’t expect your partner to make you happy, it’s not their responsibility.
Don’t get inappropriately intimate with anyone outside of your relationship.
Don’t be passive aggressive. Talk about what’s not working and communicate your expectations regularly. This will save a lot of fighting.
Don’t switch off when your partner is talking. Listen to what is really being said, not what you think is being said.
Don’t compromise yourself in order to stay in the relationship. Ever!
Don’t ever speak for your partner or answer questions on their behalf. You are not their parent, they are perfectly capable of delivering their own communications.
Don’t be arrogant enough to think that you are everything your partner needs. You’re not.
Don’t ever use manipulations to get your own way, you will pay the price later on.
Don’t let your value in the relationship be determined by how much money you earn.
Don’t use sex as a way to avoid talking about what is really going on.
Don't let technology get in the way of intimacy.
Don’t discuss your relationship with your friends and family. Treat your relationship with the sacredness it deserves, it’s no-one else’s business what happens between the two of you.
Don’t be so hard on your partner. Their problems may not be the same as yours, but they are no less stressful. Gentleness and compassion go a long way.
Don’t be unconscious. Be awake to what is really going on!
Don’t turn everything into a fight just because your partner disagrees with you. You are both entitled to have different points of view.
Don’t be so quick to run away.
Don’t have unrealistic pictures of what love is. Your partner is loving you the best way they know how, just because it doesn’t match your idea of what love should be, doesn’t make it wrong.
I have supported thousands of couples for over 29 years to get real in their relationships and to create a connection based on openness, honest communication, integrity and trust. If you're ready to transform your relationship, then book a couple's coaching session and let's start a journey together. I can't wait to meet you.