The beast inside
Can you feel it?
The beast inside you?
The darkness. The shadow. The fear?
Who is inside you that wants to emerge? Who is the part of you trying to explode to the surface? What aspect of yourself are you trying so hard to suppress and hide from the world? Why?
What will happen if it breaks free? What will they all do if they see it?
What will you lose? Who will leave you… laugh at you… run away… reject you?
Who are you trying so hard not to be? Why are you playing it so safe? Who are you hiding from? Do you believe this facade you present to the world has got everyone fooled? Really?
The harder you deny, the clearer they see. It's getting tougher to convince them.
There’s nothing wrong with it you know. That beast. In fact it’s not a beast at all. They lied. They told you it was bad, something to be ashamed of, something to kill. But it’s not. It’s not a beast at all, no.
It’s a powerful part of you, your being, your psyche, your identity. It’s an extraordinary aspect of yourself that is there to support you and show you the way when you don’t know how. It’s a potent part of you that will save you from situations and people that want to keep you small. It’s a part of you that truly holds the light you seek.
Listen, cherished one… Your beast is your light.
You’ve spent so much time looking for that light in other places, haven’t you?
You’ve gone to doctors and therapists and hypnotists and reiki practitioners. You’ve tried seminars and workshops and group processes and twelve-step programmes. You’ve read books, done webinars and kept journals. You’ve travelled, jumped off mountains, swum in oceans and gone on silent retreats. You've lost the weight, changed your hair, had procedures and styled it all. You’ve done meditations, gone vegan, practiced yoga and yet still, the beast haunts you. Still you hate parts of yourself. Still, you’re not at peace. Still, you can’t find that light.
Well, dear one, that’s because you’re looking in the wrong place!
That light… That mystical light everyone speaks of. That holy grail that you’ve been seeking, that enlightenment that will set you free…
It’s inside you!
It’s been there all this time. It just doesn’t look or sound or smell or taste or feel the way you thought it would. You just saw the unlovable every time you looked at it. You just ignored it every time it tried to get your attention. You just rejected it every time it was brave enough to show itself to you. You did to yourself what they did to you and you hated them for it - you still do.
So, loved one. There your light sits, covered in shame and humiliation, small from rejection and judgement, shaking in fear. Because you won’t love it. You won’t embrace it. You won’t accept it.
So how is anyone else supposed to?
Go. Go now. Go inside as soon as you can. Seek out that part of yourself you’ve kept hidden from the world. Find it, pull it to your chest and embrace it with all the love you have in your heart. Hold it tight, speak its name, talk to it, learn from it and never let it go. Own it, absorb it and let it shine through you.
You will not know beauty or peace or love or the utter, glorious sensation of total and unconditional self-acceptance until you do.
Don’t wait another moment beloved.
Do it. Do it now.